Happy Day of Sloth!

You probably won’t believe me (okay, maybe you will), but I’ve been looking for an excuse to publish a post about the best lil’ beast in the world: the sloth. Maybe you’ve never heard of these creatures. Maybe you think they’re a deadly sin (for shame!) or a unproductive way of life. Not so! Sloths are so efficient, your boss wishes her whole company was a sloth. You wish your house’s heating or cooling system was a sloth. Hell, you wish your KIDS were sloths. It’s true. They use practically no energy to go about their day-to-day lives. And what do they produce? Must you even ask? They produce ADORABLE!

You may wonder, do they never speak? Of course they do! They speak the language of LOVE ME.

So I nominate tomorrow as the official Day of Sloth. Because yesterday was Gluttony (Thanksgiving), and today is Greed (Black Friday). Really, there ought to be Seven Deadly Sins to come before the Twelve Days of Christmas. And they should all be adorable—the sins I mean. We’ll use bonobos for Lust and kittens for Wrath.

And just in case you needed one more reason to respect the sloth…

It SWIMS! Good Lord, it swims like a champion. And while it’s casually outperforming your best Labrador Retriever, it turns to you and says, “Hey, just in case you didn’t know, slothfulness is not laziness; slothfulness is being awesome without effort.”